Tomorrow  Don't Make Me Cross This Desert Alone
by Tiberias
Summary: BeexBarricade Cade is the last one of Decepticons living in a place that never felt his own struggling with his past with what he was and he's now. Above all he loves one of his enemies the same enemy that destroyed everything that he had.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers - All characters are over 18.  
Transformers aren't mine.  
Thanks - to my wonderful beta that helped me EnglishEnigma.

"Fuck!" I hiss as I try to reach for the little transparent jellyfish that is floating around my legs. "Hey, bitch."

The beach is empty ... a little peaceful spot that I found a bunch of months ago where I can go to hide ... when Megatron was pissed about something that I did or just bored in having us under his feet ... but now is different because I don't have anybody left ... they are all gone.

"Ah, gotcha!" I yell triumphantly while opening my hands to stare at it ... now slowly moving its thin and almost invisible tentacles around my palm and fingers. "But what ... oh, you dangerous girl" I smile while lightly touching it with the tip of my finger ... smooth ... humid and soft texture under my fingers.

Around everything is quiet as the weather is cloudy and a bit windy but I don't care ... I don't even care even when my system registers a burning and stinging sensation that the little animal is producing ... stinging venom ... but I don't care ... no, because it's nothing compared to what Megatron does when he's really angry ... or when he's bored and wants to find a way to entertain himself ... using us ... because in the end he knows that he doesn't care about others ... he's the only supreme king ... the others are hashes ... nothing to him.

Water ripples around me as chilly wind makes my antennae swing lightly back and forth... eventually I let the jellyfish fall into the crystal water with a tiny sound ... as I then stare at it floating around. "You lucky girl, I could have crushed you," I say to myself while starting to walk toward the shore, "but I'm not in the mood to play with you."

Slowly I make my way toward my towel and I sit on it while rubbing my wet face ... like wanting to get rid of my tiredness ... to erase my mind because now I'm the last one ... and I shake my head thinking that by now he's gone ... destroyed by the Autobots.

I sigh while gazing up at the darkening sky ... my radar is not capturing any frequencies ... obviously with them destroyed I know that I'm the only one left ... but even if Megatron is only becoming a dusty memory I can't to stop thinking that it's not right that every fucking time Megatron was always unsatisfied with us ... with his soldiers ... always finding something missing ... that we didn't take to successful conclusion ... but I always tried in getting ... doing what he wanted ... and he should have known that I'm one of the best ... his best hunter / scout of all the Decepticons ... and fuck you! Because I knew how to move and bring what he wanted ... but now these words ... those thoughts of mine are useless because Megatron is gone with all the others ... killed by his own thirst for power ... by his greed ... stupid fucking robot!

I grunt while kicking some sand ... I'm frustrated with this situation because now that I'm the last survivor I really don't know what to do ... and also that stupid dwarf Frenzy is gone ... I seem to not have anything left ... and this makes me yell in pain ... want to tear apart every fucking thing that happens to be between my hands ... but still ... still I remain there sitting on the sand while staring at the quiet landscape in front of me. A few little drops of rain start to fall as I quickly stand up rushing to grab my towel and backpack ... then going inside my car ... a Saleen S281 patrol car.

"Fantastic!" I fake a grin while staring outside. "Winter is coming and I hate cold."

"Ah fuck you!" I yell slamming my hands on the steering wheel ... a fury mounting in me ... rushing through my system ... wanting only to explode but I can't yell at anybody ... I can't yell at the nothingness.

"You thought you were so powerful ... eh, Megatron ... instead, look at what you did you fucking piece of metal ... we could ... we could have had everything if you could have only been less greedy ... if the power that you had could have been enough for you but no ... no, better to have more and kick some Autobot ass ... well, fuck you!" I yell like he's in front of me ... and I can say whatever I want without worrying about his reactions.

"And now? Now I'm the only one left ... good work, really Megatron, good work ... you piece of shit now lying in the depths of the ocean with the others," I keep hissing ... and I think that this is the first time that I've dared to do a thing like that ... to yell out my agony ... to say what I truly think about him ... and obviously I'm stressed and, yeah ... even scared ... never in my entire long life was I scared of something ... it was the opposite ... I was the one threatening the others ... to punish and enslave them ... but now it seems that my haughtiness is gone ... my bravery has disappeared with the war and the end of my leader, Megatron.

"Stuck in the middle of nowhere ... in a land that is not my own," I whisper while leaning against the drivers seat. "Fucking beautiful!"

Next morning I find myself thinking that maybe I can go to see what my friends the Autobots ... my lovely Autobots, are doing. "Yeah and I can ask if they want to adopt me!" I find myself saying while driving around. "Hey, Optimus, are you in need of a hunter?"

I chuckle while shaking my head. "Yeah, he would be so generous and take me in ... me an Autobot." I shiver at the thought. "Better to get crushed by a press."

"Maybe I can go ... hmmm, I don't know ... just drive and see where the road will take me," I keep talking to myself as I absently stop to let two little girls cross the street. "But, oh my, what I'm doing!" I yell annoyed once I realize that I stopped for two fucking little girls.

"Ahhhhh ... for sure, I can't keep wandering around this city ... and not with a car like this!" I point out turning toward the passenger seat ... usually where Frenzy would sit while nodding at every little thing that I was saying ... I miss him ... never thought I'd miss that little piece of a wreck.

Eventually after hours of wandering I decide to go back to the beach ... my secret spot. "I have to disguise myself in another way," I tell myself, "but, shit, I like this car!"

"No way that I'm giving up my car" I grunt while tightly gripping the steering wheel.

And then, as I'm all taken up in thinking about what I should do with my car, I spot him ... that yellow Camaro impossible not to recognize ... I slow down as I pass in front of it parked next to a white fence.

"Oh, that little Autobot is around," I grin lazily as I go to park next to him quickly cutting my frequencies.

I get out of my car while noticing that the car is still ... not transforming ... "For sure he's using his holo – form," I nod to myself, "but fuck! I've never seen his holo – form."

I lean forward to stare inside the car but the windows are much too dark for me to see anything ... I turn around noticing a little park in front of me. "He's there but where?"

I walk into the park and a little boy of not more than three years old hit my leg with a ball ... I stare at him menacingly as his mom rushes to give her excuses leading him in another direction. "Look at him!" I yell after her while shaking my head. "Fucking bitch can't seem to look after her things."

I'm almost to give up and return to my beach when I see him ... or at least I think that it's him ... his antennae ... not human ... like mine ... I walk slowly toward him as my antennae slide inside my shining metal earphones ... hiding them from him.

He's just sitting on a swing slowly swinging back and forth all taken in staring down. "Hmmmm ... I wonder where his human is right now ... maybe fucking that bitch of his," I lick my lips while approaching him.

"Hey, boy," I smile once I'm in front of him and he quickly raises his big electric eyes with a surprised expression on his face.

"Wh ... what?" he asks stopping to swing.

And, oh fuck, never knew that he was so beautiful ... those arctic eyes are piercing through my system as he's gazing at me ... and wind is lightly messing up his dirty blond hair ... no ... no, it's beyond ... and I know that I want a piece of him ... no more ... all. I want it all, baby.

"Do I know you?" he asks and I know ... I know that he's scanning me ... but, hey baby, I cut off my signal and I worked pretty hard on my holo - form ... so much that by now it's perfect like a human ... like I'm a human.

"No," I shrug going to sit on the next swing ... near him. "I just come here when I want to clear my mind."

"Me too," he sighs starting to swing again. "So I'm not the only one."

I smile. "Not really. I'm ... Cade." I tell him my nickname that the others Decepticons gave me ... and that he doesn't know.

"I'm Bee," he tells me but still I can see ... sense that he's scanning me ... searching for something going on ... come on boy. Calm down and lower your defences, I find myself thinking.

"Ok, I ... I have to go," he tells me quickly standing up and I know that he sensed something but still ... still he can't name what it is ... smart robot!

I nod. "Yeah," and I don't know why I'm letting him walk away ... why I don't try to chase him and have a bit of fun ... maybe because even if I could destroy him ... the others ... Prime and his gang would find me and get rid of the last Decepticon.

"Hey, Bee!" I call him and he turns, "Well ... well, if you ... no. I don't know you but if you need me ... you know, to talk ... you can find me at this place," I tell him while handing a little piece of paper with a little map that I materialize a moment ago.

"But it's a beach," he tells me while staring at it.

"Eh ... ehmmm, I'm a surfer ... I ... I can't stay away from the water," I rush to explain and he nods not very much convinced.

"Ok, Cade," he nods then I watch him walk away as a strange feeling is crawling through my system.

"No way!" I hiss between myself. "Have I gone crazy because I let him walk away."

One Year Later

I'm getting out of the water and it's dripping from me leaving a trail behind ... I smile while kneeling to observe a little piece of glass eroded by the ocean.

"Cade?"

I quickly stand up and I turn to find him ... I find Bumblebee in front of me ... staring at me.

"Did I disturb you," he asks as I see his Camaro parked under a tree.

"No, Bee," I shake my head, "but you-"

"Yeah, I know that we met some time ago."

"A year or so," I point out and then I see ... I see him staring at my antennae and he knows ... it's a flash of light crossing his eyes ... he knows.

"Barricade!" he exclaims.

"Gotcha," I sigh, "so what do you want to do ... get rid of the last Decepticon?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"No?" I ask surprised.

"I knew that it was you ... and during this whole year I observed you ... without letting you know what was happening," he explains, "and if you had ... you could have done anything but instead you retired yourself on this lonely beach far away from society and above all from us."

"Smart boy, always knew that you are the best one!" I point out clapping hands. "So what do you want?" I ask menacingly.

"Nothing ... just thought to break your retirement," he shrugs, "and, no, the others don't suspect that you are hiding here."

"Good. I want to be left alone," I spit out while staring at him. "So now that you've come to say hi you can turn and leave."

"I thought that you-"

"I'm not your friend," I bark out walking toward the little hut that I built up. "So leave now."

"Why did you come searching for me?" he asks while following me.

"No, it's not true. I just saw you and I was curious about your holo - form that's all," I reply.

"I don't buy it Cade!" he tells me, "but I can't stop thinking of why you didn't attack me."

"Oh come on, Bee. the war is over and I'm not so stupid to think I could blow you away without being ... then ... destroyed by your super friends!" I spit out annoyed.

He remains in silence while staring at me. "So, now that you know the truth you can walk away."

"Ok," he replies softly, "but why did you ask me to come here?"

I sigh while rubbing my head and I don't know why I'm not transforming into my robot - form and crushing then him with my foot ... not caring if the others will want to get revenge on me. "I ... I don't honestly know, Bee."

He nods. "So I'll leave you at your beach," he says while walking away and again that strange feeling that one year ago was rushing through my system is back ... more powerful this time.

"No!" I hiss as I chase him making a grab for his arm. "No, Bee."

He turns and look at me surprised by my reaction. "I'm tired of being alone," I whisper then cup his face and kiss him ... truly kissing him like I would have liked to a year ago instead of letting him walk away because since that time I haven't stopped thinking of him ... not a moment ... to want him ... and I know that it's wrong ... that it can't be right because he's my enemy ... I swore to kill his kind ... but still ... still I'm here kissing him ... wanting him more than yesterday.

He moans inside the kiss as I suck his tongue ... totally devouring it ... wanting more ... to dominate on him ... and as, I break the kiss ... but keep sharing a contact with him ... to lick and bite his lips ... I know that looking at him ... if someone were looking at us right now they would see a young guy no more than twenty-five kissing a man ... a man of forty.

I moan at the thought ... dirty ... nasty thought ... I like the idea that he's much younger than me ... also in his own robot - form ... I like the idea of being the older one.

"Let's go inside," I breathe against his lips. "Now."

I take off his t - shirt as, finally, my bare chest comes in contact with his ... we keep kissing for a long moment ... wet sounds filling the air as my hands won't stop keeping him tight against my body ... he moans as I bite his tongue ... then slowly sucking it.

He licks his lips stepping back as I hungrily stare at his perfect body ... he fumbles with his jeans then finally he takes them off.

"You are the most fucking hot thing that I've seen in centuries," I roughly hiss. "I want so much to punish you."

He backs away from me but I quickly grab both his wrists blocking him. "No way, honey!" I whisper then push him on the bed.

I slap his legs open as I slide between them while pulling down my still wet board shorts ... revealing my hard and leaking cock ... he moans throwing back his head and exposing his neck ... and I'm so hungry as I lean forward to lick and bite at it ... sweet suction that will burn and leave a mark on his skin ... yeah, I know ... his system is registering what I'm doing while at the same time adequately responding to it.

"Cade," he calls me as I raise my eyes toward his.

"What?" I kiss him softly ... and without saying anything his hand slides down ... fingers light on my cock ... wrapping them around it and I let him jack me off for a bit ... moaning as he whispers that he wants me ... so much ... that he wants me, totally me.

I close my large hand over his as I start to move it how I want. "Learn to know what I like," I hotly breathe against his earphone. "Yeah ... in this way, boy ... nghhh ... more ... yeah."

He kisses me then I push one of my fingers inside his mouth ... letting him wet it with saliva ... staring at him ... taken with the sight of him and I would like to just raise him on all fours and fuck him ... senseless but I don't know ... I fucking don't know why I restrain myself from doing it ... I don't know.

He spreads his legs more as he lifts up on his elbows to look at me ... I kiss him as I take out my finger ... threads of saliva coming out with it ... and then ... then I push it against his asshole ... penetrating him and I feel him tense and then relax as I kiss him murmuring that it's only my finger ... that I will not hurt him and, fuck, I never was this sappy ... always rude and possessive ... thinking only of taking and not giving back anything ... wanting to banquet on their bodies.

He nods as I softly kiss his pouty lips ... and then he hisses in pain as I penetrate him with another one ... "Shhhh ... just relax," I massage his trembling stomach. "Look at me, Bee."

He chews his bottom lip hard while gazing up at me and, oh fuck! His eyes are something impossible to describe ... his arctic eyes that are now looking at me ... trusting eyes and I cup his face passing my thumb over his lips. "Never," I tell him softly and he nods ... knowing that I will never hurt him ... that those days are gone ... days where we were mere enemies battling over a fucking cube.

I take away my fingers as I push him down on the mattress ... and I can't seem to recognize myself as I lean forward to whisper that I want him so much ... and that ... that I love him ... who me? Me, the cruel bastard Barricade ... there ... lying there whispering to an Autobot that he loves him ... needs him ... that he's tired of walking alone ... to just cross this immense desert in search of a safe place to establish a home ... to finally find peace ... to call it home ... again ... like centuries ago ... when all was perfect ... when nobody desired more ... wanted more ... when his planet was alive.

And Bee knows this kind of loneliness ... this wandering of his ... always struggling ... always fighting ... just keep walking ... to cross this desert in the hoping that one day he will see an end ... he will finally be freed from all this craziness.

Bee's nails scratch his back as he starts to push inside him ... and he has to restrain himself from just burying himself ... in that heat ... in that warmness ... tightness that he craves for ... he has to just shake his head to get rid of the little voice screaming to just fuck everything and fuck him roughly through the mattress ... make him scream ... his agony ... you live for that, Barricade ... for taking pleasure from the others ... screams of fear and pain as you would just fuck him ... just impale yourself and then go on ... fill him ... stain him with your essence ... no, shut up! I will not ruin everything like I did the other times ... I will not listen to you ... fuck you! I love him and I'm not going to rape him only because I love it ... I pleasure myself with denigrating my victims ... not with Bee.

And the little voice won't go away ... but then Bee kisses him and Cade slams his hand on his mattress near his face ... fighting with himself as he tries desperately to restrain himself from just raping him and then throwing him outside ... stupid boy trusting in a Decepticon ... learn your lesson!

"Cade" he calls him.

"I ... I ... can't," I try to say as I still.

"Shhhh ... it's ok," he whispers like sensing that something is going on ... like sensing that something is bothering me ... my past life ... my evil being ... always thirsty to inflict pain on the others and I lean forward capturing his lips as I start to slowly move ... fuck him ... as I slowly take my cock almost out then pushing it again inside ... driving us mad in pleasure ... wanting to prolong our pleasure.

His hands lightly move on my back ... fingers licking at my skin as I fuck him ... as you can hear only our breathes and the rumours of waves crushing lazily against the shore ... and we are connected as I can feel him in my system ... and he looks at me as if for the first time he let a Decepticon take over his system ... enter in his system ... and, oh god, he trusts me because now ... now I can really mess with him ... I can burn his circuits ... I can hurt him badly ... now that he has all his defences down ... that he's wide open to me ... letting me enter ... feel what he's feeling ... live what he's living.

"More, Cade," he pants while his face is hiding against my shoulder joint as I fuck him, now more roughly ... fast, wanting to have more ... to just have more but I restrain myself ... no, I can't ... I can't hurt him.

My fingers dig inside his hips as I steady myself as I fuck him ... "Don't ... don't touch your cock," I hiss slapping away his hand. "I want you to come only because I'm fucking your tight ass," I lick my lips as I tower over him. Then I pull my cock out with threads of pre-cum coming out from it ... "Turn ... let me fuck you from behind," and for a moment he just remains still like pondering if he would like that ... if he would like to be fucked from behind but then he nods slightly turning on his stomach.

"Good boy," I smile turning his face to kiss him deeply as I penetrate him ... and my fingers go to massage his spasming hole as he takes me entirely ... balls slapping his ass.

"Shhhh ... its' ok," I whisper against his lips as he tries to kiss me again as my fingers are massaging his asshole ... as my cock keeps sliding in and out of him ... pre-cum smeared around his hole and on his ass cheeks as I fuck him roughly ... pressing him inside the mattress making him moan more.

"I want to rape you," I hiss. "You don't know how much, Bee ... so much ... just had to restrain myself to not do that ... yeah," I kiss him sucking at his tongue as my pushes become more frantic ... I want it all ... I want to make him blow his system ... so that Ratchet knows and wonders why his yellow friend is blacking out ... so that he knows that a Decepticon is fucking him ... and he wants it ... he came for me.

"Oh, do that!" he begs as he meets my pushes ... and I bite hard on one of his shoulder because, really, he can't ask me this ... he can't burn me in this way ... fucking way ... no ... he can't ask for this ... I ... I ... he doesn't know what I would do ... listen to him cry my name ... ask me to stop ... hmmm ... too much ... too much information.

"We ... we should stop," then I find the force ... the strength to say and he shakes his head while still impaling himself on my cock. "Yeah, Bee. You are monitored by your fellows, above all by Ratchet and Prime, and they would ... they would-"

"I don't care," he moans in pleasure. "Please, don't stop ... not now ... Cade, I need you, please."

And nobody ever told me that they needed me ... nobody thought that I could help them ... nobody desired me in this way ... I was always the one in taking what others didn't want to give me ... and now ... and now as he's lying under me ... his back pressed against my chest as I fuck him ... as he moans my name ... my name so different ... sounding different from his lips and I never knew that my name could sound different from mouth to mouth ... and I want to drink all ... in all his essence ... I want to get lost somewhere inside him ... just forget and erase everything ... clean my stained system ... mate with him ... just that ... no more ... no, I don't want only sex.

He grabs one of my hands that is resting on his chest ... fingers entwining between mine as he moans that he wants me ... loves me and as I push deeply inside him I hiss ... coming ... white rushing ... filling him as I hold his hand tightly as I ride my orgasm ... wet sounds ... my come slowly dripping from his asshole as I slow down my pushes ... as I feel him spasm around my cock ... his orgasm ... I made him orgasm and cry my name over and over ... and I hold him tightly as he shakes and whimpers as his spasming and clamping ass milks out the rest of my orgasm ... truly connected ... me a Decepticon with him an Autobot ... Prime and Megatron would kill us.

Then I turn him as I slide out from his ass ... he hisses in pain as I kiss him. "Shhhh ... it's ok," I whisper while caressing him ... while my fingers are lazily tracing patterns ... smearing my come all over his ass cheeks ... and he nods.

He lies on his side as I slide behind him ... his back now pressed against my chest as I embrace him while softly kissing his neck ... looking at the purple bruises that I left. "Stay with me?" I ask keeping him tightly against me.

"Ok," he replies then for a long moment he remains in silence.

"Are you ok?" I ask wondering what's going on.

"Yeah," he nods but I know ... I know because I captured it a moment ago ... Ratchet asking what was going on ... and ... and Bee cut him off ... he just lied for me ... a Decepticon.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers - **All characters are over 18. **  
Transformers aren't mine.   
Thanks - to my wonderful beta that helped me **EnglishEnigma** - **Nova I'Sif** she gave me inspiration - **Blackbolt **and** Speechie42 **because they always support me with beautiful words.

Bee is looking around ... scanning the area as tiny drops of salt water slide along his body ... he shakes his head ... wet hair sticking in every direction as he's sitting on my surfboard waiting.

"Bumblebee!" I call him as I slam a big fish on the surfboard that he's straddling. "This is our dinner."

Bee grins at me widely. "You made it! But we don't need to eat."

"Yeah, I know, I just wanted to kill something ... hey, hold on to the board," I warn him then straddle it ... placing myself in front of him. "Fucking cold, today," I shiver while sniffing and looking around us.

"Humans are really vulnerable," Bee explains ... like I didn't know.

"Yeah, but I can't go fishing in my own robot – form," I point out while still staring around us.

The sky is dull and a cold wind makes us slowly spin. "Did you ... did you talked with Ratchet?"

He widens his arctic eyes. "No ... no, why you are asking this?"

"Come on, Bee, I caught that fucking signal ... Ratchet asking what was going on," I reply annoyed. "I'm not stupid ... you blocked him." Bee only nods while gazing down as his foot kicks some water. "It would be so bad if they knew, eh?" I ask.

"I think so," he replies licking his lips. "They think that you are gone."

I sigh. "Come on, let's not think about it."

"Prime would not be so happy knowing about that ... me and you-"

"Don't think about it!" I cut him off. "Come on let's return to the beach and cook this fucking fish," I say while jumping in the water and pushing the board and him toward the shore.

"Sooner or later Ratchet will want to see me," Bee tells me while he walks behind me but I don't reply to him. "Hey, Cade!"

"I know ... I know but, fuck, I think that you'll be smart enough to shoot some bullshit and get rid of him," I say while going to stash the surfboard ... he doesn't reply and I turn toward him. "Oh, don't start again with that fucking story of being loyal and honest toward your friends!"

"It's not my fault that Decepticons ... better yet Megatron never taught you about those two things," he points out walking toward me, and boy, he's fucking beautiful when he's upset ... I like wild boys.

"If you want to fight, well, you found the right place," I warn him. "It's been too long since I've let go of some adrenaline."

"I don't want to fight ... with you" he whispers the last words. "It's just that you don't have anybody left so, for you, it's simple to do what you want without others knowing."

"No you are wrong!" I spit out. "Because your fucking super friends are still here ... still keeping an eye ... suspiciously ... and believe me it's not so simple to find a place to hide."

"Nobody told you to do it!" Bee yells.

"Yeah, but I prefer to hide myself instead of being smashed by Autobots ... let's face it, they are more than me," I bark out pointing my finger toward him. "Do you really think that they will be so generous and compassionate as to spare me?"

"We aren't cruel," he replies. "You should know that we are more -"

"Well fuck you and the Autobots!" I bark out. "For you it's simple to talk, eh Bumblebee ... you still have someone beside you ... but look at me. I don't have anybody left ... all the others are gone ... destroyed ... I'm living on this fucking beach ... with this fucking human form that I hate because I can't go around transformed in my robot - form ... let's not talk about my other car - form ... too fucking easy to recognize, so don't come here and talk bullshit."

Bee remains frozen in front of me. "And don't stare at me in that way ... come on!" I say ... almost regretting having snapped at the boy ... in the end it's not his fault ... me being the last one of my kind ... me forced to hide on this forgotten beach.

"Bumblebee," I call him while reaching for his hand but he backs away while shaking his head ... and I feel my spark ache with the loss ... fuck you, boy! Being able to reduce me ... the evil Barricade into a sappy robot.

"You ... talk shit about the Autobots!" he cries out. "But they're my family ... what do you think, huh? It's not simple for me to lie to them ... to be with you, a ... a Decepticon. No, it's not simple. I spent a whole fucking year making my mind up over you ... wanting you, and believe me that my choice wasn't easy. You are still an enemy for us."

"I know," I breathe out while biting my bottom lip hard. "I ... I ... it's just that I-"

"You what, Cade?" he barks out. "You live here doing whatever you want. Instead I ... I have to face my leader ... my fellows and I've never lied to them ... never!"

"I didn't ask you to lie for me!" I snap kicking some sand. "Never, Bumblebee, nor did I force you to do anything ... you could choose ... you chose how to act."

"Because I love you," he hisses. "Don't make me regret that."

"But what do you want ... come on you can walk away or just destroy me, who cares ... look, I don't fucking care anymore!" I yell as I feel my spark burn with that feeling ... that sensation that I know so well ... a desire to fight ... to just feast on him ... bloody evil Barricade ... but I shake my head trying to stay clear ... to restrain myself.

"I don't want to destroy you but you have to understand my position," he yells back. "It's not easy to go to bed with the enemy."

"I never asked for that," I point out ... oh fuck ... oh fuck; I want to rape him so badly. To just ravish that delicious body ... young body ... to just show him that my kind is above them ... superior ... to just teach him a lesson ... never contradict Barricade.

He wails, gazing up ... like holding back his thoughts ... his words ... still ... still controlling himself ... not wanting to offend me ... to just snap and yell at me whatever he's thinking now.

"Come on spill it, Bumblebee ... what are you holding back?" I yell while glaring at him ... my eyes becoming a shade of dark, bloody red ... my favourite colour.

"Don't make me-"

"What?" I bark out. "Just spit it out, Bumblebee, so we can get this over with."

"What do you want, Barricade!" he asks me exasperated. "It's not my fault that the Decepticons are gone ... that you have to hide here."

I remain in silence just staring at him ... fucking beautiful boy ... so full of life and so different from me ... so fierce ... so ... so good ... yeah, absolutely different from me ... I want to poison him ... to stain him ... no ... no ... no, I can't ruin what I love ... no matter what ... just shut up! Leave me alone, I'm different now... Barricade ... Cade you can't deny your past ... you can't close your eyes to what you were ... haunting you ... I'm here, Barricade, let me free ... devour him ... he deserves it ... come on, he wants it ... to be destroyed by you ... slowly drowning in you ... make him yours ... in the way that you love ... branding him ... showing the true Decepticon nature.

I shake my head. "I know," I only reply.

He sighs. "Ok, I'm going," he tells me while putting on his t - shirt.

I rub my forehead while thinking furiously of what to say ... damn boy and the games that he makes me play! Why have I become this ... why did I fall in love with him ... fuck him.

"No, stay," I tell him.

"Obviously you don't want me to stay ... nor do you need me," he coldly replies and I would love to just slam his head into that fucking yellow hood of his Camaro while yelling that he should respect me ... I'm in charge here ... I'm Barricade.

Stubborn boy I think while he's glaring at me ... Prime should teach him a few lessons ... obstinate, stupid robot! I take a big breath briefly closing my eyes ... I will not snap ... I will not snap at him ... I will not become a fury ... I keep repeating to myself like a mantra. "Just ... stay," I slowly repeat ... spelling each fucking little word.

He sighs while looking at me. "It's not so simple, huh?"

I shake my head. "No ... you are an Autobot and I'm a Decepticon," I remind him. "Prime doesn't have to know or I'll be dead," I tell him.

"Maybe he will be able to understand and-"

"No, he will think that I forced you ... you know, stuff like that," I shrug and he nods.

"Why didn't you leave?" Bee asks me after a long moment of silence.

"Eh, I really don't know," I sigh. "I wanted to go somewhere but ... but I thought, I could go anywhere but any place still wouldn't really be my home."

"Earth is not that bad," he tells me while wrapping his hand around mine.

"I will never get used to it because my real home is gone. Destroyed by own our stupidity," I say while shaking my head.

We remain in silence as I'm staring down and then he leans forward capturing my lips and I whimper inside his kiss ... me whimpering ... Barricade whimpering ... but it's a wrenching feeling; a sickness of mine because I really miss my home, and if I think that I contributed toward destroying it ... and now ... now I find myself reflecting that I shouldn't have followed Megatron and his crazy plans of conquering everything ... we just fought between ourselves to reach something that, in then end, wasn't worth it. The cube ... the Allspark wasn't ours but we didn't ... we denied seeing it ... to understand that we should have stopped and saved our planet.

I deepen the kiss as I cup his face ... sucking his tongue as I pull him toward the entrance of the hut. "Want you so bad," I hiss roughly while licking his lips.

We crash on the bed and he laughs when I start to tickle him and he begs me to stop so he can stop laughing ... as his hands are feebly pushing against my chest and then, as I lean down to kiss his throat, his fingers entwine in my short, black hair while moaning as I lick and suck leaving red bruises that I know he doesn't want to fade away ... like a fading memory that he wants to keep impressed ... to remember always ... forever. And I'm here for him for to recall it anytime ... making one ... creating one memory for him of what we have ... of what we are sharing between us ... forbidden and misunderstood love ... passion that burns our sparks and makes us want more ... crave for more. Lines ... boundaries that are broken ... overstepped as we lie naked, me over him ... him under me ... my enemy that is shaping into something more ... transforming into more ... in my love, and every day is another notch ... another step that makes it impossible for me to give up on him ... that tie me more ... strands of desire and want that entrap me in a web that I never want to escape from because I love him.

A tide ... a tide of mine that washes my body ... my system ... water swirling slowly and sensuously around me as I'm stepping inside this ocean of mine ... warm water caressing my skin as I let him devour my entire being ... as his hands are licking my skin and, please oh please, don't just walk away and leave me another day ... a day that I will try to slow down, to just try to keep it alive more and more ... never ending as you are whispering that you want me, and nobody's wanted me ... nobody cared for me while touching my body with such reverence and need ... Barricade the bastard, the cold killer ... washing my hands in blood and black oil ... staining myself once more ... never looking back for fear of regretting ... someone choosing what would be my destiny for me... tainted Barricade.

And then he's spreading his thighs making room for me... my body sliding between his legs as his sparkling arctic eyes are on me ... and, fuck, it's like getting lost ... to just let ice freeze you ... a white, iced sensation that envelops you all and my hand is teasing his entrance and I want more ... everything that he can give me ... because it cleans me ... it makes me feel like another person ... another being.

Tiny voices hiding in the darkness of my garden just staring at me ... calling me as pale fingers want to keep me there ... in that dark garden ... humid sensation that I know so well ... don't leave us, Barricade ... no, Cade, you can't leave us ... take what you want from the boy that is lying under you so trusting ... teach him a lesson ... burn what he thought that you would be.

And their hands are upon my chest ... my spark, and their sweet enchanting voices are whispering in my ears ... skin, please Cade, do that ... feast on him ... let's drink in his pain and laugh at his screams like the old days when you could orgasm just by inflicting pain on others ... to punish and enslave, Barricade ... it was always that, Cade, and what would it be to just bury yourself inside him ... to bruise him more ... staining him with your poison and, fuck. Oh, evil Muse, that are tempting me and wont leave me alone ... her slender fingers turning my face toward hers ... majestic beauty as she kisses me and I let her kiss me ... go, Cade, take what you want ... she whispers wetly against my lips, her white hair tickling my skin ... go, Cade.

"Cade?" Bee calls me while turning my face toward me. "Shhhh ... don't listen to that voice," and he knows ... he easily knows that I'm fighting against myself.

"I want you in a way that is beyond pleasure and pain," I whisper as my hand goes to close around his throat.

"You ... you don't want that," he breathes out while his hands wrap around my wrist. "That was your past."

"And who told you that I don't like that," I grin while hungrily licking my lips.

"Look at me, Cade," he cries out as I tighten my hold more. "Cade, please."

I yell in anger as I quickly get up going to punch the wall. "Fuck you, go away!"

"You weren't going to do that, Cade," he tells me while massaging his throat ... red marks from my fingers on his pale skin.

"What is making you believe that I wouldn't want that, Bee?" I hiss. "You better go away because-"

"Because what, Cade?" he asks while rising up from the bed.

"I don't know if next time I will have the strength to restrain myself ... fuck you, this is not my nature!" I point out while pushing him away as he tries to grab one of my hands.

"You will not harm me," he quietly says while reaching again for my hand. "Cade, listen to me."

"No, fuck you, no ... look at me, Bumblebee, I really don't know where I'm going ... what I want ... and all these voices and my past are mixing together," I cry out. "It's not so simple when you only want to wash your hands with blood."

"Fuck me and don't think of anything," he barely whispers.

"If ... if I don't think then ... then I will be insane ... I can harm you. I-"

He shushes me with a kiss and then he silently lies on the bed. "Please, Cade," he begs as he spreads his thighs wide open making me wail in frustration.

"What do you want, Bee!" I yell out as I straddle his body. "Fuck you and your games ... I'm not what you want ... I'm not myself ... I don't know."

"Lower your defences, Cade," he whispers as his fingers tease my nipples and I hiss in pleasure.

"You are like a rare sensation that makes me almost drown," I roughly say while two of my fingers push inside him making him jump in surprise. "Make me forget if you dare ... if you dare, Bee."

"I dare you to forget and get lost in me," he moans while his fingers grab hold of my delicate antennae forcing me to lean down and kiss him as my fingers fuck him ... roughly inviting him to give up ... to surrender to me ... come on, pretty, just let me work you; get you ready for my cock ... want you so bad, pretty.

I take them out while positioning against his entrance ... my hand flat on his pelvis as I start to push inside him ... stomach shivering with the effort to take me ... trembling under my palm as I look at him ... darkening eyes that are now sliding closed as I bury myself in him, and his hands ... fingers ... nails scratching my chest like wanting to push me away and deny me my pleasure ... his lips are slightly wet and he whimpers in pain as I start to fuck him ... tight warm sensation around my cock ... spasming as I'm adjusting my position.

"Cade," he calls me as my fingers dig into his inner thighs to spread them more.

"Let me fuck you deeper, Bee," I moan leaning down to suck his nipples as his hands slide through my hair.

He moans as I slow down my pushes letting him enjoy the friction while smiling lazily at him. "Is it ok?" I ask and he nods as I gaze down at the base of my cock buried inside his ass.

I bury my face in the crook of his neck as my pushes become more frantic ... just wanting to reach our orgasm ... drag him with me ... he lets me enter inside his system ... truly connected, white light enveloping me as I come filling him with my seed ... entwining our systems ... our beings, as his spasming asshole milks out my orgasm.

He comes with my name on his puffy lips as I slow down my pushes. "I love you," he tells me while lazily kissing me as my come makes slick wet sounds.

"I love you, too," I reply while resting my head on his chest.

At dawn he's looking at me sleeping next to him ... recharging, and then quietly he gets up starting to dress himself.

"Bee," I groan not opening my eyes. "Pretty, where are you going?"

"I received a call from Prime," he whispers leaning over to kiss my temple. "Sleep, it's still early."

"Stay with me," I whine softly while rubbing my forehead on the pillow. "Fuck Prime and his needs."

He kisses me. "If I don't go he will suspect something," he replies and I nod.

"Ok, but as soon as you can come back to me," I tell him. "Fucking love you."

"Hmmmm, romantic policeman," he laughs and then he just walks outside with me pulling the covers up over my face while falling asleep again.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers - **All characters are over 18. **  
Transformers aren't mine.   
Thanks - to my wonderful beta that helped me **EnglishEnigma**.

I'm swimming in a dark blue lagoon ... cold calm water swirling around me as I'm trying to reach the shore. My breath is short and my spark aching as I keep swimming ... wrestling with the water that is fastening crystal threads around my body ... wanting to keep me there, to make me drown ... and I want him so badly ... just want to reach him, getting lost in the process of trying to have him ... to touch him because it's like he's like a sharp feeling that makes me bleed and cry out my agony, that erases my mind ... every little microchip of my system but she wants me ... she wants to just keep me there.

"Cade," she calls me as her cold, slender, pale ... too pale fingers are clinging to my chest. "I know your true nature," she whispers softly against my ear ... wet sounds that make me shiver as I finally manage to reach the shore.

"Look at me, Cade," she begs ... naked feet sinking into the sand ... long threads of mist around her ankles and she's so erotic as she turns my face toward her. "I want you," she only says.

"Leave me ... alone," I choke while pushing her away. "I'm a different being."

She moans while her threads of mist crawl slowly in my direction like snakes ready to claim my body ... and it's like she's trying to suck my air ... to suck what I'm trying to build, to become. "You can't deny your past, Barricade!" she hisses as her long, white hair is floating on her shoulders. "I want you back."

"I ... I-" I babble not being able to form a phrase and I feel weak and needing as she reaches for my chest ... light touches that make me flare in desire. She leans toward me and my eyes flutter closed as she kisses me, her palm cupping the back of my head ... red nails in contrast with my salt and pepper short hair.

"Let's banquet, Cade," she grins evilly. "The boy will learn his lesson," she laughs showing her white, sharpened canines.

"I can't ... I love him," I reply while licking my lips, and damn if I don't love that taste ... wild and so tempting ... blood ... so delicious.

"Let me crown you with bay and scream that you are the emperor ... blood will flow at your feet and the boy will be lost!" she hisses deliriously. "Let's destroy and conquer, Cade."

I sigh. "Oh, Muse! I'm so tired of fighting against myself," I cry out. "Everything that was mine is gone."

"But we can conquer all again, Cade ... just follow your instinct and soon you'll wash your hands with blood ... again," she cups my face as her bottomless eyes staring at me. "Nobody loves you as much as me."

"I want so much to rape him," I hiss in pleasure while closing my eyes. "He would ... he would just submit to my orders ... to my will."

"Yes, Cade," she moans against my lips ... a moist and dark sensation. "We hate Autobots ... they took away everything that you had ... your Decepticons."

"They relegated me to this fucking beach," I groan as she licks my lips. "I want my revenge ... I'm so going to teach him a lesson ... to never trust a Decepticon."

"Slowly, Cade ... slowly, we will take our pleasure from him," she says as I lean to kiss and lick her nipples ... her abound breast. "Let the red drip inside your eyes ... painting them with fury and madness, Cade."

I nod as I step back from her. "I don't know what love is."

"He doesn't love you!" she hisses licking one of my antennae. "Cade, I'm the only one that loves you."

"I know," I reply closing my eyes ... letting her take over my system. When I re - open my eyes I see that she's gone. Cold wind is blowing but it's like I can't feel anything as I start to walk toward the hut ... and it's like the world fell into complete silence as I can only seem to hear a distant feeble hiss.

I spot him sitting on the sand all taken up in reading some sheets ... I roughly grab him under the armpit making him stand up.

"Cade!" he exclaims startled by my action but I don't say a word as I drag him toward the entrance of the hut.

"What are you doing, Cade?" he asks while trying to halt my pulls by using his feet but I'm stronger than him.

Finally, I manage to drag him inside and he's now yelling to let him go ... silly boy! He doesn't know that his screams are only fuelling my low instincts ... my desire to just teach him a lesson that, surely, he will never forget ... never trust in a Decepticon; above all in me ... Barricade!

"Cade!" he cries out as I throw him on the bed ... wide arctic eyes staring at me ... oh, I can smell fear and panic and I'm so going to feast on him.

"You shouldn't have trusted in me, Bumblebee," I hiss as I tear away his t – shirt. "I want to fuck you so badly ... you don't know how much," I whisper as I capture his lips in a harsh and bruising kiss ... pushing my tongue past his lips.

"I ... I have to go," Bee tells me while trying to push me away ... spreading fingers over my chest ... trembling hands flat against my thorax and still he doesn't know how much he's turning me on with his wet and puffy lips slight opened ... all for my pleasure.

"You are not going anywhere, pretty," I grin while pulling down his sweatpants as he tries to stop me. "Just want to ravish you."

"Cade, don't listen to those voices. You are-"

"Fuck you! You don't know me and I'm tired of denying to myself what I love most," I hiss, "and if you dare to transform or disappear you'll regret being born."

"You just don't want to-"

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell flipping him on his stomach covering his shivering form with my body.

"Leave me alone," he screams trying to kick me. "Fuck you, Cade!"

I grab him by his hair pulling him toward me. "I assure you that you are going to enjoy, Bumblebee," I whisper while licking his earphone as my fingers travel down toward his ass.

"No, Barricade!" he yells as roughly I force two fingers inside him.

"Shut up, bitch!" I warn him by pulling his delicate antennae making him scream in pain and, oh, fuck! It's pure delirium ... pure pleasure for my system hearing him scream and suffer under the pressure of my insistent fingers.

"Feel my cock, pretty ... it's leaking for you," I hiss as I take out my fingers. "I know that you are tight ... eheh ... fucking Prime that didn't have the balls to fuck you."

"You are sick!" Bee yells biting one of my hands ... sharp teeth sinking into my holo - flesh and I slap him then cup his face.

"Hey, pretty, you should be a good boy and just raise your fucking beautiful ass more for me," I laugh slapping his ass cheeks ... red marks spreading across his pale skin. "Gonna make you scream, Bee," I press a hard kiss on his shoulders as I penetrate his asshole enjoying his tightness.

I rush to cover his wrists with my large hands, pinning him down, restraining him from moving ... just making him submit to my will as I start to fuck him ... hard and deep pushes that make me sink more and more into him ... stretching him wide as I tighten my grip around his wrists when he tries to free himself ... bruising his skin ... purple marks that are now decorating his skin.

"You are delicious," I breathe against his neck. "Just look at you lying here with your ass raised up in the air ... letting me fuck you ... me a Decepticon," I whisper balls slapping his ass cheeks. "If Prime knew ... oh, oh, I know that he would not approve."

He remains in silence and he's stopped fighting me. "What's that, Bumblebee? Hearing the name of your leader made you lose your tongue?" I laugh hard slamming into him ... making him whimper. "Or maybe you are starting to enjoy, eh pretty?"

He still remains in silence as I keep feasting on him ... on his body so delicious and I know that I want more, I want to eat him alive to devour his whole being ... and it was so much ... so long that I denied myself this pleasure ... every time shushing my cravings, my needs, trying to be a different being ... but you can't get rid ... forget what you were ... what you still are ... and my nature is black ... my attitude is fierce and I'm proud of myself ... I, Barricade.

I'm tainted ... I'm lost and stained, nothing can clean me because I'm a Decepticon and my true nature is calling me ... my Muse wants me back between her breasts ... kissing me passionately, whispering that I have to take everything from the young Autobot ... fuck him! He trusted in the bad one and now I only want to come inside him ... to mark him.

I lean forward to capture his lips ... salty lips ... salty from his tears and I find myself whimpering as I pull away from him ... he loves me, he loves me and he was the only one that trusted ... when nobody did ... when nobody ever dared to ... Barricade is too lost to put your life in his hands ... and instead ... instead he came here and offered his love, his solace, his devotion and I saw it everyday in those sky - blue eyes ... devotion and love.

"Fuck you!" I yell out slamming my hand on the mattress near his face. "Look at me," I cup his face forcing him to turn toward me and ... and his eyes are staring at me ... blank and dark and my thumb slides over his bruised lips.

"Don't look at me in this way," I find myself crying out as a thousand voices are screaming to just slam his face into the pillow and keep fucking him ... as my Muse is hissing that I don't know what mercy really means ... that he's just a slut, an enemy ... he took away my family, my leader, my friends, the Decepticons.

"Just kill me," he barely whispers lowering his antennae, "or I will kill you," he adds after a long moment of silence and I lock my jaw while staring at his arctic eyes ... glaring at me ... and, no ... no, I shattered, I ruined what I loved most ... my only chance to be another being, to learn to be different ... to live in the light ... to know that someone loves me for who I am without judging my past ... what I did ... he loves me ... he loved me and I ruined it all ... again.

I find myself staring at the ocean and I'm still wet, holding my surfboard ... I shake my head closing my eyes and then I turn looking around the beach ... my spark aching as I'm trying to understand what happened and then I spot him sitting on the sand all taken up in reading some sheets ... roughly I grab him under the armpit making him stand up.

"Cade!" he exclaims startled by my action but I don't say a word as I drag him toward the entrance of the hut.

"What are you doing, Cade?" he asks while trying to halt my pulls by using his feet but I'm stronger than him.

Finally, I manage to drag him inside and he's now yelling to let him go ... "I love you, Bumblebee," I whisper hoarsely, pulling him closer to my body. "Part of me wants to ruin you ... to abuse you but the other part wants to worship you ... to devote myself to you."

He's staring at me with wide eyes and then after a long moment he chuckles softly. "Were you fighting with yourself again?" he asks slightly amused.

"Aren't you scared of me?" I ask while holding him tightly against me ... not letting him ... I need him so much, never in my entire long life have I craved so much for something.

He shakes his head capturing my lips in a sweet kiss. "I've never feared a Decepticon, why should I start now?"

"Because I'm totally insane," I hiss kissing him again this time more deeply.

"Maybe I like that in you," he whispers.

"What were you reading ... secret letters of love?" I ask as we stumble on the bed with me crushing him.

"Prime's papers that he wants me to read," he replies leaning down to kiss my neck then going up to my jaw.

"I don't give a fuck about what Prime wants ... I should just get rid of that pig," I moan as he keeps assaulting my jaw with tiny kisses. "Hey, Bee?"

"What?" he breathes softly and I know that I can get lost in those sparkling eyes.

"Ratchet asked you something," I ask while entwining my hand with his, he chews his bottom lip. "Don't lie to me little one."

"I ... I told him that ... ehhh-" he babbles while lowering his eyes.

"What? What did you tell him, Bee," I ask raising his face toward me. "Eh, Bee?"

"Eh, I told him that I was masturbating myself!" he shots rolling up his eyes.

"You what?" I start to laugh and he slaps me.

"I couldn't say, 'Hey, Ratchet, it was Barricade's fault. I was having sex with him you know!'" he complains slapping me again. "Stop laughing. I had to lie for you."

"Oh, oh, big Prime would be pissed off if he knew," I reply still laughing and he stares at me in disbelief.

"Yeah! I lied to him," he points out and, oh fuck! I love his purity, his innocence and again she's whispering that I should take advantage of that but quickly I shut her up. "And tell me pretty Ratchet wanted to know how you managed to jack yourself off?"

He grunts something. "Yeah, he was interested ... but before you shot out the word pig, well ... he was interested only in knowing what I felt, what was my reaction."

I shake my head. "Ok, I'm not buying it ... that geek is in need for a good fuck".

"Cade!" he exclaims slapping me. "Please watch your mouth."

"Yeah, because I'm kissing you," I hiss kissing him. "Fucking love you, little one."

We just lie there as I start to tell him about the shark that I saw this morning ... but I don't see ... I don't see someone standing outside ... staring with wide eyes at Bumblebee's yellow Camaro and my Police patrol car parked side by side ... and one of us should have capped that frequency ... should have ... should have.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers - **All characters are over 18. ****  
**Transformers aren't mine.  
Thanks - to my wonderful beta that helped me **EnglishEnigma**.

If he knew ... if he knew.

If he knew what I did ... if he knew what I used to be he would just close his eyes and pray for me. For centuries I was lost ... for centuries I played a game that made me feel proud ... for centuries I danced with the shadows ... mixed shadows of what I was and what I thought to be, crowned and feared because they knew what I was ... what I was able to inflict.

And ... and he's lying here ... here on my chest, in my arms ... sleeping peacefully and knowing that I would protect him ... keep him safe no matter what ... no matter what but if he knew what I was and what I did ... and the thought makes me shiver and whimper because he would be disgusted of what I used to be ... he wouldn't dare to sleep on my chest, so near to my stained spark that is still calling me, inviting me to resume my true nature because nobody can really forget what they were.

Surely he knows that what I did is not worthy of being worshipped ... but he still ... still doesn't know what I really did ... what he made me do all for his pleasure but also for my pleasure. I shift slightly while caressing him, pulling up the covers and thinking that he shouldn't rest so peacefully in my arms ... he shouldn't trust in me, in a Decepticon that spent centuries in staining his being with blood and oil, and still ... still just an hour ago he let me make love to him, he let me enter inside his system ... sharing his inner system, something precious, vital and deep.

He let me tower over him while begging to be kissed and loved by an evil being like me ... he whispered that he wanted and loved me ... soft and sweet words spilled in my ears ... needy lips against mine, kissing me, and wandering fingers licking at my so needy skin as I slinked inside him ... inside his body ... inside his system.

Bee shifts lightly and one of his hands curls under my chin while muttering something that I barely understand ... and it would be no more than a brief flash of light to just get rid of him, to just breach his lowered defences and burn his inner system ... getting hold of his spark and just letting him see, before I end his stupid life, that he shouldn't get close to a Decepticon ... that my nature is impossible to modify ... it's an imprint that was given me when I was created ... but still I remain unmoving as my fingers stroking his shoulder blades, tracing patterns over his pale skin.

I sigh while rubbing my face as memories are rushing through my mind, through my chips and circuits and I tighten my hold kissing his head softly while whispering that I love him more than anything ... but now I can clearly see him, them my once so called brothers, fellows ... screaming and laughing madly at the new game that my leader, my emperor like he liked to be called, had found lately ... catch and kill a human.

Now that I'm looking back, no ... no, I can't say that I'm proud of what I did, of what he pushed me to do ... but then I could have said no and he would just destroy me for disobeying one of his many pompous orders ... but in the end, even if it cost me so much ... in the end I drew pleasure from what I did to those boys ... those poor hookers that I usually hunted ... but usually I would not stare at them for too long, I wouldn't watch their faces as I inflicted the brutalities on them that he demanded me to ... so I would not remember their faces ... I would not have to compare them ... to see them haunt me, they were only faceless bodies ... they were one of many that happened to cross my path, to meet me ... a Decepticon.

Ehhh ... I lost count of how many of them I picked up to satisfy his pleasure ... his thirst to slay humans, this race that he hated so much ... I lost count of how many lost boys I brought to him, to Megatron ... faceless young boys that trusted in the wrong person ... but I can still remember their screams of agony and fear ... my fellows laughing with madness while chasing the poor guys and then raping them over and over, passing the massacred boy to the others.

"Cade," I hear Bee mutter in distress while hiding his face against my shoulder joint as his fingers are resting against my jaw.

"It's ok, pretty," I whisper while kissing his temple and I feel him relax and sigh while still sleeping ... to recharge his system.

Faceless boys ... faceless, if only for one ... one of them. I can remember one of them. A shivering and wet boy that I picked up during a rainy night. Megatron was upset and just wanted to give vent to his fury so he called me and briefly told me to go out and find entertainment for him ... I lowered my gaze while walking away, knowing that he wanted another boy.

I wandered around the city while staring unblinkly around me ... I don't know why but I was getting tired of always being the only one playing his dirty game ... in dragging a screaming and scared boy inside the wide room where he would sit in the centre on a sort of throne that Megatron made us build for him ... while the others would yell and laugh calling the boy dirty nicknames. And then I saw him ... a young boy ... a hooker, homeless waiting for some money that would help him to survive ... blank eyes that would swallow everything ... black holes looking at me as I walked toward him.

He smiled, licking his cracked and bruised lips, while his sky blue eyes would gaze up at me ... dirty blond hair wet with rain by now and he curled his little hand around my bigger one while I started to lead him toward my car ... at least I will have a dry place to stay for a bit, he whispered while lightly shivering in his too worn out clothes ... and I shouldn't have looked at him for so long ... for too long ... I shouldn't have allowed him to just stare at me; me getting lost in his eyes ... drinking in his beauty as I leaned forward to capture his lips ... to kiss him and memorize every little move that he was making, his hand attempting to cup me through my jeans ... and it would be so sublime to just fuck him inside my car ... to just take pleasure from the boy and he whispered, please ... please, tiny words that excited me ... that made me crave to just ravish his body.

That night as I dragged him inside the base he begged me to let him free ... to let him go ... no, you can't ... no, you can't, he yelled and cried out ... please, Cade ... please, Cade! He whimpered and I fucking don't know why I told him my name ... why I revealed my name to him, I never wanted any contact with my victims ... never felt so frustrated as I was dragging them inside.

"Cade," he called me and I locked my jaw turning toward him and ... and I let him go ... I let his wrist go ... his bruised wrist.

"Go away!" I hissed pushing him away. "Go away before I rethink it and drag you inside."

He stared at me with huge eyes and I leaned to kiss him. "I've never spared a life," I whispered against his lips, "but want to ravish you so bad."

The boy whimpered as I bit hard on his bottom lip, then he started to run ... running breathless through the fields ... disappearing, swallowed through the night. I went out again picked another boy and threw him at Megatron's feet then, walking away, I found myself yelling out my agony for the first time.

I open my eyes and I realize that it's dawn, I decide to get up and walk a bit outside ... my feet sinking into the sand as I walk toward the shore stopping to stare at the wide ocean in front of me ... calm waves shattering on the shore, caressing my feet as chill salty air is licking at my skin and my system is rushing to register every little notion ... every little sound or image that is happening.

"Fuck you and the games that you made me do!" I yell out toward the ocean like Megatron can really hear me. "I let that boy go ... yeah, I let him go to keep him from perishing under your sick games."

I kick the sand while wailing up at the sky and as I'm about to turn and return toward the hut I slam against a body. "What the fuck!" I hiss stepping back and in the dim light of the rising sun I see the boy again... the lost boy that I was going to rape, the one that I picked up in a raining night.

I extend my arm to reach for him and he grabs my hand as I step toward him. "I let you live," I find myself whispering. "I ... I-"

"Cade," he calls me holding my hand tight.

"Bumblebee?" I exclaim widening my eyes and, no ... no, it can't be ... he wasn't him, he's not him ... that boy that I let go ... he would have just told me that ... hey, Cade, you know I'm that boy that you let go.

I capture his lips in a deep kiss as my hands go to cup his jaw and he moans inside the kiss. "Dawn is the most beautiful thing that humans have," I say and he chuckles.

"Since when did you become a romantic Decepticon?" he asks grinning.

"It's your fault ... I think," I laugh as we sit down on the sand to stare at the ocean ... and I avoid asking if he really was that boy ... but, no ... no, it can't be him ... what was he doing on that street ... why didn't he tell me who he was ... too many questions that, for now, I prefer to avoid to ask ... I just want to sit here and enjoy having him close to me ... against my chest as we watch the rising sun.

"World is beautiful," he says. "It's not a bad place to live."

"It's not our planet," I remind him.

"I know," he sighs, "but it can still be a second home for us ... humans are not that bad and-"

"I don't want to hear what Prime taught to you," I groan slapping his head lightly.

He chuckles. "If you would give him a chance to-"

"No way!" I yell out. "No way am I going to join into you guys ... me? An Autobot, shit that's ugly."

Bee laughs hard. "Ok, I got it."

"You'd better," I hiss pinching his nipple and making him jump and yell in pain. "Bitch!"

And as he's lying against my chest, quietly staring at the ocean, I can't avoid thinking of that boy ... that delicious boy that I saved ... the only one that I saved, and I see him ... I see him again under that driving rain staring at me with those haunting arctic eyes and as I find myself gazing down ... drinking in his perfect young body I see ... I see it ... him wearing a battered yellow black stripped leather jacket.


End file.
